Things have been going better than I ever could of ever imagined, and its all because I started to focus on positive things. Always be positive no matter what anyone tells you; that's the most important lesson I have learned. Being positive reinforces your thoughts and allows you to make the best decisions for what you want in all situations. Its basically the best way to live in my opinion and everyday no matter what is better than the last.
On Wednesday I tested my resolve and headed to Tubbys to play some games, chat with some people, and see if I've really changed all that much. It was rough at first, especially talking to Anna again; but I think that the new me handled everything superbly. I think just the fact that I talked to others more than her really speaks volumes about it. The night was fun and I'm looking forward to going again this week, also for Tuesday, when her and I will hang out 100% as friends for the first time.
I've been getting back into fighting games again, looking forward to the Alberta Beatdown tournament that I'll win next month. Baby steps first, beat everyone here and then beat everyone in Alberta. Ambition, that's a good thing. In related news, PSN is finally back up again and although I haven't really used any part of it; it has been a pretty good thing that it is back up. I've been playing Blazblue CS2 on the Xbox and I honestly have to say that playing on the pad really sucks, it works but it is no where near comparable to the PS3, which in turn is incomparable to an Arcade stick.
Glad that PSN is completely back up again before Summer starts so I can game online like crazy if I so feel it.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Time to Start Fresh
Life sure is pretty interesting, and it is something that I truly enjoy every second of. I'm learning more and more every single day. But you know what I think might be the most important thing to never forget? Always be positive, even when things suck you can still try to pick out the good things and laugh and smile. Being happy sure beats being sad any day of the week, and heck the more happier you are the more happier you'll become. Back when I was talking with that batshit insane ex of mine, I felt like crap and she made me feel even more like crap. What happened was I just kept spiraling and felt worse and worse. Now there's a reversal of fortune, I've become happy and every minute, hour, and day I feel even better. Life is just so much better if you look only at the good stuff and ignore the bad stuff, as a result you just keep getting more good things and more happiness.
So what have I been doing as of recently? The same things surprisingly, except this time around I'm looking at all the good things. I don't see my homework as a chore anymore I see it as getting a lot closer to end of high school altogether and reaching University. I don't see games as an escape or something that reminds me of her; I see how fun they actually are and all the good times I had with her and how someday I'll have those again. Its all in the way you look at things. As an added stroke of luck, Barry (my old district manager) replied to me and offered me the job, and what's even better? It's at the same amazing location! I think it really shows how strong the mind is, that just changing how you think can really alter your life. I wasn't happy when I got this amazing laptop, and now I'm happy just because I have it, and I'm happy for all the things that I'll ever get.
Smile folks! =)
So what have I been doing as of recently? The same things surprisingly, except this time around I'm looking at all the good things. I don't see my homework as a chore anymore I see it as getting a lot closer to end of high school altogether and reaching University. I don't see games as an escape or something that reminds me of her; I see how fun they actually are and all the good times I had with her and how someday I'll have those again. Its all in the way you look at things. As an added stroke of luck, Barry (my old district manager) replied to me and offered me the job, and what's even better? It's at the same amazing location! I think it really shows how strong the mind is, that just changing how you think can really alter your life. I wasn't happy when I got this amazing laptop, and now I'm happy just because I have it, and I'm happy for all the things that I'll ever get.
Smile folks! =)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Ninjas on a Sailboat.
So yeah, I'm a lot happier now. I think most of that comes from cutting that batshit insane ex of mine out of my life. Honestly its freaking ridiculous how crappy I felt compared to now. Like my friend Sarah said, she learned how to best hurt me and exploited it. I almost got dug into a hole in which might of completely destroyed any hope of Anna and I ever talking again. I guess there are actually terrible people in the world, although now I can honestly say I'm happier. On the plus side, I might be able to talk to Anna again; considering all I've learned about her.
She understood a lot more about me than I ever gave her credit, in a way she could see through the lies and see who I really was. What amazed me was that she actually fell in love with who I really was and its because she cares for me that she chose to separate herself from me so I dispel the lies and become stronger. She stuck with me for so long trying to make me see, scared that if she flat out told me it would end us. Now she is showing more than ever that she's a lot smarter than I have ever hoped. There is a flaw in her plan, and I'm only saying this because I've finally learned enough to fully understand it.
There is a concept in psychology known as social regression in which a part of it is the definition of what happens when two old friends who haven't seen each other in a long time finally do, and they revert back to being the same people they were before. I've learned that she is scared of me ever acting the same as I did before she cut herself out. The flaw in her plan is that it has no end, she believes that she can talk to me again a long time in the future and I'll be a changed man. Not true because we'd regress again and start over at the same crappy situation we're in now. I proposed a situation in which her and I talk to each-other again slowly so that the drastic change I'm doing right now gets applied to our friendship.
Yeah, I said friendship. I guess I must of "fell out of love" and can now actually accept something like that. It also came with realizing that her and I without the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend" were really best friends. I'd be stupid to let my best friend walk out the door.
On a different note, I've been playing Amnesia: The Dark Decent. I have to honestly say that this is one of the most terrifying games I've ever played, and there is a lot of reasons for this. First off is the Light/Dark component of this game, do you choose to stay in the dark so you can avoid detection by enemies? or do you stay in the light so you can see and you can remain sane? If you stay in the dark you run the risk on going insane, seeing enemies that might not even be there; if you are in the light you can be detected and murdered. You have no weapon, none whatsoever. Instead for once you actually need to survive the horror, so instead of conserving ammo you conserve oil for your lantern (which drains fast as hell). This is a real horror game making Dead Space and Resident Evil look like action movies instead of a horror. If you're a fan of horror games or just want to shit your pants... get it.
She understood a lot more about me than I ever gave her credit, in a way she could see through the lies and see who I really was. What amazed me was that she actually fell in love with who I really was and its because she cares for me that she chose to separate herself from me so I dispel the lies and become stronger. She stuck with me for so long trying to make me see, scared that if she flat out told me it would end us. Now she is showing more than ever that she's a lot smarter than I have ever hoped. There is a flaw in her plan, and I'm only saying this because I've finally learned enough to fully understand it.
There is a concept in psychology known as social regression in which a part of it is the definition of what happens when two old friends who haven't seen each other in a long time finally do, and they revert back to being the same people they were before. I've learned that she is scared of me ever acting the same as I did before she cut herself out. The flaw in her plan is that it has no end, she believes that she can talk to me again a long time in the future and I'll be a changed man. Not true because we'd regress again and start over at the same crappy situation we're in now. I proposed a situation in which her and I talk to each-other again slowly so that the drastic change I'm doing right now gets applied to our friendship.
Yeah, I said friendship. I guess I must of "fell out of love" and can now actually accept something like that. It also came with realizing that her and I without the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend" were really best friends. I'd be stupid to let my best friend walk out the door.
On a different note, I've been playing Amnesia: The Dark Decent. I have to honestly say that this is one of the most terrifying games I've ever played, and there is a lot of reasons for this. First off is the Light/Dark component of this game, do you choose to stay in the dark so you can avoid detection by enemies? or do you stay in the light so you can see and you can remain sane? If you stay in the dark you run the risk on going insane, seeing enemies that might not even be there; if you are in the light you can be detected and murdered. You have no weapon, none whatsoever. Instead for once you actually need to survive the horror, so instead of conserving ammo you conserve oil for your lantern (which drains fast as hell). This is a real horror game making Dead Space and Resident Evil look like action movies instead of a horror. If you're a fan of horror games or just want to shit your pants... get it.
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