Hmmm, an hour past midnight. I remember this was when I usually posted a blog; usually its because my roommate would be asleep by this time as is the case. I figure you guys like it when you can wake up to a new post every morning, which makes me feel happy inside hahaha.
So some of you must be dying to know what I've been up to, what I've been thinking. Also, some of you harass me through email and offline messages that I don't talk about "this" and "that" enough. Well, honestly you guys have a right to full anonymity just drop down to the comments and drop one anonymously. I have no way of telling its you and no one else does either. Problem solved.
So what have I been up to recently? General web surfing, schoolwork, and games is what. I've been frequenting games more than anything, and keeping tabs on what I play is almost impossible. In the past week alone since I've been back, I've played Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, Gran Turismo 5, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Fire Emblem, Megaman Zero, and a bunch of assorted flash games.
At least one of you is thinking, what about music? Why haven't you talked about dusting off the ol' guitar and serenading your hot neighbor yet? Well two reasons, one my hot neighbor moved away over a year ago get with the times and that I haven't really felt like it. My musical ability is up to the point I can play whatever I want, and what I want is to record a song. More than that I want to collaborate with someone, I tried back in the summer to get Erin to do a song with me, but that didn't work out because she started ignoring me. Doesn't mean I pulled off of music though. I've been listening intently to a lot of good stuff. Mostly modern some oldies, but right now I'm in love with "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz; it reminds me of the good old days and you know... warm days.
One more issue I want to talk about is what University/College should I attend next year? I could go with my original plan of UofC but I don't know if I should just go somewhere new? I recently found out I fucking LOVE travelling so maybe its best to leave this city behind? I don't know, what do you guys think?
On a darker note, some of you might of seen through the happy sunshine vacation like I have and forgotten about what I sometimes remember. The reason why I even went on the vacation in the first place. I'll be honest. It was meant as a vacation at first, at first I meant to run away, to start a new life; I learned that there are things in my past just meant to stay buried and I've been trying my best to forget about it. So if you bring something up about "that one time" and I don't remember... its because I forgot about it, or I really want to. This doesn't mean don't talk to me about anything, it just means don't push me. For example, about 3 years ago I found a story that I loved, I followed the author intently waiting for the next sequel. The story was about a guy kinda just like me, the story is very happy at times and very sad at times. I just remembered this story and decided to check on the author to see if he wrote the next sequel. When I started reading, all of a sudden all the memories came rushing back; I started remembering the sad parts in the story, related to the sad parts in my life; to the horrific.
So I hereby promise to never ever, reminisce about anything that could even relate to something not remotely happy.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Hello Mysterious Man/Lady.
Hi everyone, posting another wonderful blog post today because I know you all love it. Also going to post up a poll about something so vote away. So Thanksgiving was yesterday in the USA, and Canada doesn't have it so I wasn't able to fatten myself up as much as I wanted to haha =).
Soo the topic today I guess would be expanding on what I talked about last time; since some of you wondered a lot of things. They were relatively about what else I did on vacation; you forgot to finish your thought on Brittany and Erin, and other things like that. So I guess I'll fix that shit up kay? =P.
Okay so an expansion of what happened with Brittany and Erin was that I texted Brittany first asking for help (I never really do this) because she was majoring in Psych. She wasn't very much help but told me to be honest, wow I never thought of that (seriously). So I texted Erin about the same deal, and got a favorable response and wasn't ignored. At the time I had serious breakdowns, I just wasn't me anymore and my life was running itself into the ground.
With Brittany I just kind of stopped talking to her, and she stopped talking to me. We basically both figured that we were done, that it was too awkward. I won't go into details but basically she slept with someone else while we were dating; and I basically took revenge in a kind of mean way months later. If you want to know details then ask me personally; I don't think she would be happy if she read this.
With Erin we talked for a while and she basically gave up on me. Well not exactly true but she pushed me further into the hell I was in (Until I met Janelle). We stopped talking after that, which wasn't a big deal to me anymore because I found that we had everything we could ever really have together. A relationship that I actually really wanted (even though it was rocky), a best friend I could have fun with, and lots of fun times which I can't talk about because I said I wouldn't (tehehehehe =) ). So yeah, I basically stopped talking with the both of them, I still wish I could hang with Erin because I had such a huge crush on her once upon a time; and it would be cool to relive that feeling. But I'm fine without it, its a pleasure unneeded.
Anyways, what else did I do on my vacation? Lots of tourism, lots of learning about the culture there. For one, its a lot more fun to walk down the street there than it is here. Its so vibrant, and the people are really fun to talk to. I met a girl and her nice family when visiting the Opera House for a play; they were really nice and showed me around the area around the opera house too. The opera house is the big thingy in Sydney that everyone has seen before in case you were wondering. I made so many new friends on the pier restaurant as well, as they were having a birthday party that I basically butted into. I did keep a journal while I was there too, but honestly it just has juicy details that only some of you care about. Still it was quite possibly the most fun I've EVER had. I never thought that travelling alone would be fun, and it would be terrifying but, if you have the social skills... a foreign country is the best place to use them xP.
Soo the topic today I guess would be expanding on what I talked about last time; since some of you wondered a lot of things. They were relatively about what else I did on vacation; you forgot to finish your thought on Brittany and Erin, and other things like that. So I guess I'll fix that shit up kay? =P.
Okay so an expansion of what happened with Brittany and Erin was that I texted Brittany first asking for help (I never really do this) because she was majoring in Psych. She wasn't very much help but told me to be honest, wow I never thought of that (seriously). So I texted Erin about the same deal, and got a favorable response and wasn't ignored. At the time I had serious breakdowns, I just wasn't me anymore and my life was running itself into the ground.
With Brittany I just kind of stopped talking to her, and she stopped talking to me. We basically both figured that we were done, that it was too awkward. I won't go into details but basically she slept with someone else while we were dating; and I basically took revenge in a kind of mean way months later. If you want to know details then ask me personally; I don't think she would be happy if she read this.
With Erin we talked for a while and she basically gave up on me. Well not exactly true but she pushed me further into the hell I was in (Until I met Janelle). We stopped talking after that, which wasn't a big deal to me anymore because I found that we had everything we could ever really have together. A relationship that I actually really wanted (even though it was rocky), a best friend I could have fun with, and lots of fun times which I can't talk about because I said I wouldn't (tehehehehe =) ). So yeah, I basically stopped talking with the both of them, I still wish I could hang with Erin because I had such a huge crush on her once upon a time; and it would be cool to relive that feeling. But I'm fine without it, its a pleasure unneeded.
Anyways, what else did I do on my vacation? Lots of tourism, lots of learning about the culture there. For one, its a lot more fun to walk down the street there than it is here. Its so vibrant, and the people are really fun to talk to. I met a girl and her nice family when visiting the Opera House for a play; they were really nice and showed me around the area around the opera house too. The opera house is the big thingy in Sydney that everyone has seen before in case you were wondering. I made so many new friends on the pier restaurant as well, as they were having a birthday party that I basically butted into. I did keep a journal while I was there too, but honestly it just has juicy details that only some of you care about. Still it was quite possibly the most fun I've EVER had. I never thought that travelling alone would be fun, and it would be terrifying but, if you have the social skills... a foreign country is the best place to use them xP.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Just up'in there frontin'
Heellllooo my extremely diminished following. Its been 2 months since the last post and some of you know where I went and some of you don't. Vacation. I figured it was about time that I had gotten one, so I spent that money that you know does nothing, pulled a string or two for a discount; and took a fucking vacation. If you're offended that I didn't tell you, then just know I didn't tell anyone about it. Unless they asked me.
Not because of my ego, but because it costs money for me to text out there. I ended up buying a international card so I can text for a while. The smart people, emailed me; some others texted me. But I'll get to that later. So anyways, I up and went off to Sydney. Always wanted to go there, and it was a better time then any seeing about how the chill was starting to roll in at the time. Over the course of being there I learned a lot about myself.
So the texts that I did send out were because I was trying to fix my wrongs, I figured that I can't just run away and forget about my problems, so I contacted the people I was avoiding for help. I asked Brittany and while she didn't help much she gave me some hope, and I talked to Erin who I was finally able to vent to. My problems were being thinned but they didn't go away. Not until I heard some keen advice.
I went to a local cafe late morning on a Tuesday to freeload the internet and figure out what I could do and thats where my life was basically turned around. I was going to buy coffee as well because jet lag has since forced it on me to stay alive. The line was large, incredibly large for a time so close to noon. Kind of irritated I voiced my confusion on the fullness of the small cafe. Lucky for me, there was a girl in front of me who turned to me and explained why. Basically the cafe was full around this time because class had let off about 10 minutes ago at the University.
Anyways the girl was cute and dressed fashionably despite looking a little warm in contrast to the hot weather (in my opinion). She already talked to me and the line was large so I figured why not keep talking. So we did, I found out she went to the University herself as a Philosophy major first year, and she found out I was foreign because of my distinguishably different English. We talked a while more, she elected that I walk her back to the campus, so I did. We talked about tons of things, our lives and everything like that, I dispelled as much preconceptions and myths she had about the west as she did for mine. I of course left out all the bits that made me look bad, but I'm guessing she did the same.
So the hour quickly ran past us and she had a Psych class to attend, so it was time for me to go explore campus. But she invited me into the class, which made me pretty happy to say the least. And it was there that I heard the words that set my life back on track. The lecture was on happiness for one, and I was really into the lesson. I still have notes I jotted down in my laptop. What hit me hard was when he distinguished a life of meaning, and a life of happiness. That if one chased after a life that has meaning to others, then they in turn became less happy. A life of happiness came from living in the moment. He also said "A happy person, has an active social life; be it with one person or twenty, they are surrounded by those who feel like the main attraction is you."
From there, all made sense. I read my blog again, and my journal and I found that I became more and more depressed the more I tried to gain that life of meaning. To reach University, to better myself; but none of that was done for myself, they were done for what others would think of me. I wanted to become a doctor so others would respect me, to better myself so that others could praise me. But I didn't do things for myself anymore, I did them for the future. I realized you don't have to stop reaching that meaningful life to be happy, but that by being happy in the present; reaching that goal is just that much easier. And when I think of it, I did just meet a cute girl, go vacation where I wanted to, and go to University. It was a good day.
So I had a pretty good time after that, I literally rolled in my bed for half an hour smiling that night. From then on, I went all around touring Sydney, with Janelle and her friends or meeting other people to go with. I was never alone, and I realized that I don't have to ever be. So now, I'm back again; and I can't wait to go on another vacation. But I'll wait, for the summer at least. Australia has been cut off my list, my next destination? Probably Rome, Venice, Tokyo, or Paris.
Not because of my ego, but because it costs money for me to text out there. I ended up buying a international card so I can text for a while. The smart people, emailed me; some others texted me. But I'll get to that later. So anyways, I up and went off to Sydney. Always wanted to go there, and it was a better time then any seeing about how the chill was starting to roll in at the time. Over the course of being there I learned a lot about myself.
So the texts that I did send out were because I was trying to fix my wrongs, I figured that I can't just run away and forget about my problems, so I contacted the people I was avoiding for help. I asked Brittany and while she didn't help much she gave me some hope, and I talked to Erin who I was finally able to vent to. My problems were being thinned but they didn't go away. Not until I heard some keen advice.
I went to a local cafe late morning on a Tuesday to freeload the internet and figure out what I could do and thats where my life was basically turned around. I was going to buy coffee as well because jet lag has since forced it on me to stay alive. The line was large, incredibly large for a time so close to noon. Kind of irritated I voiced my confusion on the fullness of the small cafe. Lucky for me, there was a girl in front of me who turned to me and explained why. Basically the cafe was full around this time because class had let off about 10 minutes ago at the University.
Anyways the girl was cute and dressed fashionably despite looking a little warm in contrast to the hot weather (in my opinion). She already talked to me and the line was large so I figured why not keep talking. So we did, I found out she went to the University herself as a Philosophy major first year, and she found out I was foreign because of my distinguishably different English. We talked a while more, she elected that I walk her back to the campus, so I did. We talked about tons of things, our lives and everything like that, I dispelled as much preconceptions and myths she had about the west as she did for mine. I of course left out all the bits that made me look bad, but I'm guessing she did the same.
So the hour quickly ran past us and she had a Psych class to attend, so it was time for me to go explore campus. But she invited me into the class, which made me pretty happy to say the least. And it was there that I heard the words that set my life back on track. The lecture was on happiness for one, and I was really into the lesson. I still have notes I jotted down in my laptop. What hit me hard was when he distinguished a life of meaning, and a life of happiness. That if one chased after a life that has meaning to others, then they in turn became less happy. A life of happiness came from living in the moment. He also said "A happy person, has an active social life; be it with one person or twenty, they are surrounded by those who feel like the main attraction is you."
From there, all made sense. I read my blog again, and my journal and I found that I became more and more depressed the more I tried to gain that life of meaning. To reach University, to better myself; but none of that was done for myself, they were done for what others would think of me. I wanted to become a doctor so others would respect me, to better myself so that others could praise me. But I didn't do things for myself anymore, I did them for the future. I realized you don't have to stop reaching that meaningful life to be happy, but that by being happy in the present; reaching that goal is just that much easier. And when I think of it, I did just meet a cute girl, go vacation where I wanted to, and go to University. It was a good day.
So I had a pretty good time after that, I literally rolled in my bed for half an hour smiling that night. From then on, I went all around touring Sydney, with Janelle and her friends or meeting other people to go with. I was never alone, and I realized that I don't have to ever be. So now, I'm back again; and I can't wait to go on another vacation. But I'll wait, for the summer at least. Australia has been cut off my list, my next destination? Probably Rome, Venice, Tokyo, or Paris.
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