Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Friendship in the new year

More than a week later, and 2011 is still a great year. Full of fun, adventures, new and old beginnings, and nearly no disappointment. While not much has changed in what I've been doing, I've been feeling fulfilled by the end of every day. When I play games, I'm always noticing improvement and more importantly I'm having a lot of fun. And everyday I feel like I learn something new or I realize something new. Its surprising but this year is actually so much better than every beginning of a new year so far.

So last post a few minutes after I had published it, I had went back and edited out part of it. Why? Because I felt like a hypocrite and I was a little embarrassed. I talked previously about how the one thing I didn't enjoy about the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother" was Ted's constant run-backs with that one one girl Robin. After I wrote that, I realized that I'm the same because the next thing I was writing about was my plan to call up an old ex and hang out, be friends. Gosh, I felt like such a moron; that is was actually the FIRST time I have ever not written what was on my mind.

Anyways I took the high-road learning from my mistakes and actually called her, up to the point I realized she didn't want to pick up so I left a message. Sending me a text a few days later, she replied; saying that she didn't want to see me yet, but there was no harm in just being friendly. That's cool with me, I truly wanted to just be a friend anyways. So we promised we would call eachother soon, and by now I still haven't called her. I just don't know what to say.

Rewind back a bit, I have to mention that I honestly don't know how to be "friendly". I've actually been getting tips, because through certain opinions I don't be "friendly", I just flirt all the time. Seeing that this is pretty bad, I figure I'll just tell her exactly that; so that's what I was planning to do today. Ease the tension off, and then go into chatty Chris mode. But then the most interesting revelation came while I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother. It was interestingly an episode about how Ted and Robin who had in the last season dated and broke up, are finding it difficult to be friends. Now while its fucking weird for me to take advice from a TV show, it did make sense to me finally. The reason why my ex doesn't want to see me is because it would be awkward for us to be together alone. Also get this, for us to be friends it has to just happen. I've been jumping the gun, and all I need to do is tell her that I understand and the rest will come if it comes.

When I think of it after writing that I feel kind of stupid, when I get a relationship going its either one of us going after eachother, and correct me if I'm wrong but, a friendship comes from passivity. If you both like eachother (in a totally non-carnal way), share similar interests; then its just eventual that you'll be friends. That's why when I think back to say... Elementary when I met Nathan, I can't remember for the life of me why or how we became friends. BAM! New flash, I just realized what I was doing with Erin before (pushing her to hang out) was essentially me asking her out; which you know would contradict with the whole boyfriend thing. Even though it wasn't my intention, it turns out that I probably did that. The only thing left is tell her, so she understands THATS why. I wasn't hitting on her, I was just socially inept!

So I can mark this down: January 2011, Chris learns how to make a friend.
I feel like I solved a mystery or something, all my life I've basically been working on these social interactions and I'm surprised I never learned this one. In short: Just be cool.


  1. you know now that i look back at it i can't figure out why we became friends either. but I'm definitely glad it happened like it did.