Release, sweet release. I have never seen the world until this day. I look back now, and see just how sheltered I was, even though I thought that over the past few years I have been coming out of my shell, in reality I was only learning from inside that shell. It seems kind of hard for me to believe; That I've only ever thought about freedom, researched it, but I had no idea what it really was. If there is one thing that I have learned through that experience it is that life is not textbook. What I mean by that is everyone has a different perception of the world, everyone has a different meaning, we value the things we earn but not the things we receive. For me well, freedom has never tasted any sweeter. My mind had changed, for the better. I began to notice the world around me from my eyes, not the eyes of others. I realized that I used to think so heavily about everything, but I look back and see that preparation by thought is not as effective as preparation by experience. I learned that I should live my life, and not just think about it from behind a veil.
The days directly passing my release were nothing more than blurry memories. I remember waiting on the train with Anna after leaving downtown. I remember her driving me back to her place. I remember telling her everything. I was getting better, I was beginning to drive away the demons that plagued me, even if I didn't know it at the time.
Now that I was somewhat mentally stable, it was time to figure out what would happen next. I turned my attention to the documents the courthouse gave me. I needed to do two things. Call and see a probation officer, and find a lawyer. It took the entire weekend for me to calm my nerves, and then I called them. I can no longer remember the order in which everything happened, so I guess I'll just list them:
- I went downtown to apply for legal aid and to find my probation officer. It was a wild goose chase, I always thought I knew downtown well but again that was only in theory. I went to find the legal aid office, but when I got there it turned out I had to go somewhere else to access Youth Legal Aid. So I went there and applied. Next I waited and then went to the probation offices, which coincidentally was in the same place as the Youth Legal Aid office. Going there, I found that I was actually at the WRONG BUILDING AGAIN. Turns out the office was actually pretty far, so the man there called my Probation Officer and told her I'd be late. So I bolted there, by bolted I mean walked, took a train, walked, turned around, and walked.
- One night, Anna and I went to Blockbuster. It was the evening of Chinese New Year. So, I used Anna's cellphone (Since mine was lying at home) to call my Dad. I wished him a happy new year, and we made a plan to meet up when he returned from work.
- First court date. My dad drove me there, and by the end of it we got set up with social services. Also, I finally met my lawyer. Pretty cool guy. Court was adjourned to another date so that we would have time to prepare.
- Second court date. I met with my lawyer prior to court at 9:00. 15 minutes before. Well, we managed to figure out what had to be done. My plea was prepared. I plead Not Guilty to the charges laid against me. My lawyer managed to snag a Trial date that was early (By early, I mean 2 months later but that's better than the original 6).
So that basically leads almost to where I am now. I continue to see probation every 2 weeks. Obviously, I am not staying at home. Where am I staying at? Anna's. It was a series of events convincing her dad and soon after her mom (after she returned from visiting Thailand) for me to stay. A rough plan was established, basically I just lived in the basement. Oh bliss, I couldn't get over how much freedom I had. I felt like I had everything. You see, the basement contained games, and a 52" TV. What else would I need? Everything went swell until the issue of rent came up. My dad paid a certain amount, only once. After which he told me that, it wouldn't be possible to pay rent for me and give me living money. We were all ready to move to my half-brother Wayne's place when Anna said her mom didn't mind. So I stayed. Next snag in the road, apparently they're behind on the mortgage so they are getting evicted. We get to stay here a few weeks meanwhile we're apartment hunting.
That's basically all the important stuff. Lets try to keep this from being a novel like the last post. =)