I feel as though its going to be another late night; haven't been able to get much sleep, but for some reason its not phasing me. My senses are heightened and I'm more agile than usual, I feel the occasional pang of tiredness but other than that I'm fine.
So as if I was cursed from mentioning my hope the University called today saying that, without the Physics 30 course on my transcript I would be denied admission. Its finalized now, my student centre has me in no more classes and my application is canceled. I don't really know how to feel about all of this, but I guess I'll just have to find something to motivate me.
Motivation, thats what I need. It was what pulled me out of so many abysmal moments before, my own motivation to do what needed to be done. Usually my motivation would be competition with someone I liked, such as the reason why I did so remarkably well in Social Studies (my all-time worst class). Through Second Semester I drained all my self-motivation and in doing so lost so many things.
My personality, charm, and self-confidence were the first to go. That furthermore caused tensions with the people around me, I was no longer myself. This made it worse obviously. But the fact that I feel like now I've hit the bottom, it might be time to build myself back up again.
That's basically all for this post, and for those of you that are wondering; I'm not actually going to cry for days about University; honestly between that and losing my Childhood friend, my Best friend, and my Girlfriend. I'm done whining.
If someone thinks they can SERIOUSLY help me out, find my way; teach me how to be me again... please do. My mind has actually forgone a clean wipe.
Whoa Whoa, quick edit in here. Blogger just informed me of this SICK feature where they can take the contents of my Blog and publish it into an actual BOOK. Now THAT is what I call cool, when I think of my title I'll be sure to post all final drafts onto a new blog. I doubt any of you would really want a hardcover (or softcover!) of my lame book, but it'll give me a sense of accomplishment. So yayayayaya