Hey everyone, how the hell are you? Past few days have been decently eventful at most, but I actually delayed writing about it because I was working on my new years blog post. Fair warning though that it will be gigantic, and like most of the content on here; it will be written for me. So my advice would be, read the first paragraph which will explain what it is, and read it if you want to. If not, haha whatevs.
Over the past few days sleep has been a very silly thing, I actually fell asleep at 9pm one night and woke up at 5 the next morning. Then I decided to stay up til 4am and sleep til now, which is 4 pm. The main reason I switched back to a late sleeping schedule is because my Dad came home from work, which basically means the internet is hogged all day long until after midnight. So if I want to get in my half an hour of Call of Duty or even write a blog then I generally have to stay up.
Inevitably I'm finding myself more and more filled with hate, its a sad and horrible thing to say but I can honestly say that it is true from the bottom of my heart. Now I can't really say that any Christmas for me has been optimal, and that really only last year was good at all... but it really shows that one person can make that difference for someone else. I've been trying to keep my spirits up but the people around me show no regard for others, no sense of giving and no cheer. In fact I went upstairs to greet my father when he came back from work and he started yelling at me about the University refund that never went through, I explained that he didn't call them back with the credit card number and he refused that it was his fault and it was instead mine. He told me to get the number so he could call them, and I said alright and started going downstairs to get it, but he wouldn't stop fucking talking my ear off about it, then he decided to complain to my mom who no shit gets on his retarded side, and even after I explain to my uncle the situation he's on their side. Well fuck, I'm just trying to be nice and get everything in order as fast as possible and everyone just wants to bash on me. I've always have disliked my dad, because he shows a good side once in a while but someone who just is nice once in a while isn't a nice person. So he's in the same pot as my mom, and I hate both of them.
I keep my brother out of the thoughts of everyone is stupid and mean because well, I've always protected him from it; taught him how to be strong and intelligent. Well I've never taught him how to be nice, and thats just because look where I am because of niceness. Well what about Anna, not much other than she actually thinks out her gifts, but refuses to actually think about me. For example, if I got a game I would still not have anyone to enjoy it with. Now I actually have been trying to spend more time with her, talk with her more. But I'll tell you what, it just doesn't work... discussion apparently is a skill she lost over a year ago and now can only report on things. She did have this Anime she wanted me to watch with her, it was one of those cute romantic rivalry mixed shit I love oh so much (questionable tastes lol), so I wanted to watch with her. But I chose not to because every fucking time I watch with her the only words that come out of her mouth are "next episode?". I would think that it would be able to spawn discussion or something, but no it doesn't. So even without me she opts to go watch it by herself. Proving my point she watches it for FIVE hours straight.
Christmas time is cheerful when the people you spend time with are also cheerful, which is just not happening for me. The people I'm spending my time with are greedy assholes who care nothing about anything non-materialistic. For those of you reading, I doubt I actually mean you unless I explicitly said so, its just that I don't really spend time with ya'll that much, and well I guess I just need family. Which I don't have.
Excuse me for the mile long rant up there, I just had to get it out. I feel a load better now; be back sooner or later with another post! Til' then I'm going to start up fifty downloads to hog the internet so my parents can't use it.
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