Saturday, January 23, 2010

Chris... The Dancer?

If you remember my last blog post, you would remember me talking about dancing. It's kind of caught on to me these past few days, and it is something I'm trying to learn. The inspiration honestly came from me being drunk (last blog post) when I danced freestyle for the first time in years. I usually don't dance, when I do it can't really be considered dancing, just moving. Recently though I felt really alive when I was dancing, and I didn't have a care in the world. So, as of now I'm learning to dance again.

On another note, I'm also getting into film making, I really want to learn how to make high quality films. I'm also challenging myself by only using the resources that I currently have, so it is a no-budget task. Currently I'm collaborating with my brother and Anna to create a movie trailer for an imaginary film. The planning session we had was a success and if we film at least 1 or 2 scenes a week I'll be happy. My vision is to have an end product that will look like a really well done trailer for a high budget Hollywood film. I'm hoping that this does not turn out like all the rest of my projects, I don't want to give up on this.

I've been hit with such a huge burst of depression recently, it could be because of the new medicine I got 2 days ago after seeing my psychiatrist. It could also be the fact that he lowered my original medication's dosage. So I've been feeling really sad lately. On the bright side, the new medication he prescribed me has done pretty good for restoring my energy. I usually feel about 15% of my full energy potential, but now it's like 30%, it is only just a starting dose too. I can see that I might be able to make a recovery. I also noticed that I'm a little more talkative, getting back to my usual flighty social behavior. What I mean by that is I change topics relatively easily and I talk a LOT. But people like it so who cares? It also could be that I have not been updating this blog a lot and events just build up. When you live your life like mine chasing opportunities something interesting always happens.

I got a letter from the University of Calgary a few days ago, very nervous I opened it. I was pretty disappointed that it wasn't a acceptance or rejection letter but actually a letter saying that they got my application. I'm really feeling like I'm not going to make it this year. It really sucks, but I'm a year younger than all the rest of my class so maybe I'm just not ready for University. While still on the topic of school, my guidance counselor and vice principle have excused my final exams. However, I still made a personal choice to carry through and complete my Social Studies diploma, I worked TOO hard this year not to finish that course. Sadly, I just found out. I was not able to get a 77 on my final English exam. I only got 73. This pushes my mark down to 49%. Meaning I don't pass. This sucks. Big time. I'll try to talk to the teacher, but this really sucks. If only I did one more assignment. If only I wasn't so damn depressed and fucking lazy.

I've been playing so many games recently, just playing games on my computer wasting time. I don't even have much fun playing them. I just want to talk to someone really, but every time I talk to someone it's only a temporary solution to my feeling of boredom and uselessness. I don't know what to do, I try to get as many games to fill the void but there just isn't enough. I swear all the games on flash game sites piss me off, and the games on Facebook there just isn't enough good ones.

Alright, I'm off for today just going to waste more time. Talk to you all next time.

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