Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I sure miss a lot of things.

I've been thinking lately and it really does feel like my life ended after high school. While school itself was utterly mind-numbing; I thoroughly enjoyed all the things in between. I miss everything so much because I simply don't have it anymore. Most of all I miss Kaitlyn.

I reread some of my posts and I apparently didn't write about what happened with her. To understand you have got to understand a few things. Kaitlyn is my (ex) bestest-best-friend. Her and I go way back as I've probably never shut up about. Ashleigh is a girl that was a brief friend in elementary before I moved, we became close when I met her coincidentally at a school volleyball game. Eventually we dated for four years. Ryan Clark; is basically the end-result of everything evil. He has plagued my life for years, and has now successfully spirited away the two most important to me.

Once upon a time, my then girlfriend Ashleigh had to move to Vancouver due to a parental-custody agreement. This however did not at all ruin our relationship, but it was the beginning of the end. It was four years ago, the summer of 2007. Around the time that I figured out that her missing my Grade 9 graduation was no big at all, I made the decision to go visit her new home in Vancouver. I basically figured that my parents would never let me do such a thing so I convinced them I was off to camp. I then bought a bus ticket and freighted the 12-hours to the west coast. It was a week of pure enjoyment for me, but it was also the first time that I had met Ryan. Ryan's father was the owner of the company in which Meredith Kingsley (Ashleigh's mother) worked for. I had pleasure of eating dinner with the family.

I'm not going to lie, Ryan is a charming guy. Yes, that is one of the reasons I hate him. He is in almost every way, better than I am. I'm not just being humble either. At 6"3' he makes me look squished; and he looks like he's been groomed his entire life. He seriously could be described as a sculpted Adonis, neatly groomed hair and charming blue eyes. He's enough to set your teeth on edge. I had to sit there all night while my supposed to be girlfriend was fawning all over him with her eyes. I personally thought the guy looked ridiculous. The guy was 16 but dressed in a suit and groomed from head to toe. He and his father were sure full of themselves; I can't even remember the company's name.

I was anxious the second I left the city to go home. School year was coming up and they'd be in the same school. What was a guy to do. Ashleigh and I broke up the following February for the first time. What followed was a rocky relationship; I could tell she wanted to forget about me and chase after that tool. That's what basically happened. Ashleigh and I didn't really speak until the winter of 2008 when we got back together. Only for a few months, when she chose Ryan over me.

I might of never made it through that if Kaitlyn wasn't there to comfort me. In the summer of 2009, Ashleigh moved back to Calgary; permanently. This time free of the custody agreement, but she also brought back with her Ryan. Who for some fucking obscure reason wanted to go to post-secondary school here. Everything was fine. Until 2010 began. It was at a new years party, hosted by our friend Alex. I should of never gone, because it was here my then girlfriend Kaitlyn met Ryan. A week later she broke up with me, didn't tell me why. Now I know. A month later, Ashleigh moved back to Vancouver unexpectedly, cutting off all contact without telling me why. Now I know why. Ryan.

It didn't put me into the happiest of moods which set off a chain of events that led to all the horrors that had happened through the year. Since then Kaitlyn had been with me as a friend, but not anymore. She's gone now. Ryan's to blame, for everything. He took both of them away from me, shattered Ashleigh's heart and threw her aside the second he saw Kaitlyn. I hate his guts, but what can I do?

I just want to hear Kaitlyn's voice. It's been so long.

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